An anniversary not worth waiting for

23 by Jimmy Eat World

I felt for sure last night
That once we said goodbye
No one else will know these lonely dreams
No one else will know that part of me
I'm still driving away
And I'm sorry every day
I won't always love these selfish things
I won't always live...Not stopping...
It was my turn to decide
I knew this was our time
No one else will have me like you do
No one else will have me, only you
You'll sit alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
I'm here I'm now I'm ready
Holding on tightDon't give away the end
The one thing that stays mine
Amazing still it seemsI'll be 23
I won't always love what I'll never have
I won't always live in my regrets
You'll sit alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?I'm here I'm now I'm ready
Holding on tightDon't give away the end
The one thing that stays mine
You'll sit alone foreverIf you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?I'm here I'm now I'm ready
Holding on tight
Don't give away the end
The one thing that stays mine...

Its that time of the year again. When prices of roses jack up rocket high and lovers take the chance to be extra romantic and mushy. Only people with relationships benefit from this season of sweet-nothings and lovey-dovey drama. Oh that includes the ones who have a keen relationship in money-dealing from the earnings of the overly-priced flowers. While everyone else is floating in their dreamy creamy world of love, pathetic souls with no one to hug or gifts to exchange are drowning in their cesspit of woes and misery.

Then again, singles save the most on occasions like these. There is no need to call upon fine dining etiquettes to stress themselves out in front of someone they hope to impress. Who needs to pay hefty bucks for pieces of crap on a ridiculously large plate that isnt even enough to feed your pet fish ? Who needs the posh ambience and waiters to serve out your fish food? Singles are exempted from forking out extra cash for meaningless stalks of petals and leaves. There is no need to wreck brains to come up with fanciful itineries to keep females excited.

Cinderella is not a fairytale. It exist. It strikes at 12am on 14th Feb but the spell only lasts for 24 hours. Suddenly all girls turn into princesses while their knights serve them like there is no tomorrow. What goes on after 14th Feb? Perhaps its the sullen faces and dull dates to the neighbourhood kopitiam again.

Im proud to belong to the privileged club. It has been 22 faithful years and going on 23 as i my pledged my allegiance to the distinguished club. But i do agree its difficult at times when loneliness creeps in and my faith to the club starts to wobble. I guess i will never be able to understand the true meaning and feeling of having a partner. The closest i can get to comprehending is through television shows and movies. But still some things remain as mysteries. Will i ever uncover the truth?

The EMO Divined

The Timid Gentlemen by Anadivine

Don't turn away
I'm the only thing you know you wanted
Polite and tamed
left you feeling like a child who's getting bored
but your skin is worn
just like California
didn't warn you that you'd burn beneath the setting sun
I'm taking it back
I'm turning from you, I'm turning from you
I'm taking it back
So colors don't turn from black to blue
You can put that gun down
Such beating remains
Are the hallways to where your poor heart is
Re-sin again this beatings pushing
Wither to the floor
Cause im feeling torn
Just like paranoia Didn't warn you
That you'd burn beneath the smoking gun
I'd hate to tell you how much of this charade
Isn't exactly all of the things that can say
Things that I can sayI'd had to tell you how many bad mistakes
Are really things I intended to make
Intended to make I'm taking it back
from youI'm taking it back
So colors don't turn from black to blue

Here's a tribute to the likes of my kind.

Are Guys really superficial? I would like to defend my gender especially when there has been so much negative stigma linked to masculinity. "Guys are chauvinistic", "Guys are hypocrites", "Guys are jerks" yada yada...

Actually come to think of it, the male species have been dwindling in power ever since the nineties. Imagine the emotional trauma that the males are experiencing, especially the older generation. With the entry of females into the political and science/technology fields, the once dominant males felt threatened. The extent of damage does not end here. In fact, the sheer purpose of males' existence has been questioned with the invention of invitro-fertilisation, cloning and other artificial procreation methods. Has man become redundant? Despite his painstaking efforts of pushing the frontiers of technology to ascertain his significance in the society, all he get in the end is a threat to his existence. How ironic.

So you see in today's world, men are the ones who deserve your empathy. So spare them the insults and curses. It is unfair to even judge men based on yester-years' stigma (the Big Male Ideal or 大男人主义). Guys these days are sensitive, emotional and respectful towards their female counterparts. Give them a chance to redeem. Ain't it sad enough that fate played a joke on them by toying their purpose of existence with a test tube?

Ladies, hear me out. Guys deserve your understanding and tender loving care. Please comprehend our plight. Societal pressure on males can be too much for them to bear especially when they have evolved in an environment that still feeds on the idea that male dominance is the rule of mankind. The evolved males are dependent on females to reassure their existence, to appreciate their significance on this cruel world.

So the next time a guy confess his love for you, don't shun away from him cause it will only break his fragile heart. Though on the outside he may seem nonchalant but deep down inside he is crumbling as he questions his existence.

A failed attempt at love will only corrode his ego away, he will then be shrouded in shyness. Only you, yes you (ladies) are able to peel that envelope of despair and bring him back to life for its your touch that ascertains his existence.

What's beneath the surface?

I was preached and fed with information based on a 3-dimensional world. It was much later in my adolescent years that someone proposed to me the idea that time was the 4th dimension. But could it be our limitations as humans that prevent us from becoming actively aware of the other dimensions? We are unable to tell hence it doesnt exist. Dogs are able to hear a wider range of frequencies of sounds, perhaps they can pick up more information than us humans. But are they more intelligent than us in that sense? Guess not. Regardless of all the scientific chatter about the intelligence superiority of mammals, i still purport the idea that humans are the most complex. We can think 0n mutli-dimensional levels. A simple daily task involves a universe of thoughts, feelings.We can do certain tasks and yet think about other non-related matters.

Its hard to tell what others are thinking and its harder to get people to think the way we do. A simple conversation may involve so much more underlying meanings that anyone can imagine. Sometimes i really do care what the other party is thinking or feeling so i can adjust to make myself more interesting. Perhaps one day we will be able to mind read one another and there is no longer a need to even talk. Will that ever happen? If humans evolved, i wonder what the change would be. An added stimuli of senses?

I wished i could look beyond her eyes and understand her better. Beneath all that surface talk underlie all the hidden codes and tags which i can never decipher. I'm just an untalented code breaker that stumbles incessantly over the obstacles separating me from her. Will i ever overcome? Or will i concede?

Naked & Exposed

The vicissitudes of life stir up so much emotions in us. There are so much shades and degrees of intensity to every feelings. Its amazing how scientists can actually categorised emotions into chemical equations. For every hate you harbour, for every love you bear, its simply the outcome of chemicals churning inside your brain. Some of us grew numb to emotions as our hearts become callous to the caustic world of treachery. While some of us become wearier with each passing day. Sleep cures emotions. Its a temporary exit out of the paining environment we are trapped in. Realisation of how weak we can be strike us every now and then like constant reminders of our vulnerabilities.

How long more to bed time?

An inevitable Evolution without solutions

It was the final day of Singapore Open 2004. There was no grand finale. No rewarding races at the end of the four-day competition. Just a day long of downpour. Like a symbolic salute to those who perished on the fateful sunday just a week ago. There was a pensive atmosphere to the cold air. Chilly breeze occasionally brushes through the shed that we all took shelter from the incessant rain.

Though it was a relief for us as the hours passed and confirmed the end of the competition, there was a feeling of sadness. Today marked the end of Singapore Open 2004 and the closing episode of "Mistral One Design" in the windsurfing scene. The pace of technology has created an evolution in the windsurfing world. Eveything has just expanded. Small sails and slim boards will be a thing of the past. Being light no longer means faster speeds.

The physical demands of tomorrow's windsurfers fits exactly to that of a giant-at least 6 foot tall & weighs at least 80kg. Midgets (<175cm) are no longer in the picture. Formula racers have got something to cheer about as hybrid boards become the next big thing. Is it a conspiracy to segregate the Asians from the Western windsurfing world? With such a change, it will only favour Westerners (big builds & Tall stature) while Asians get ruled out. Or does it just mean that humans are becoming bigger and there is a need for change? Such a change only makes giant look normal while the average normal beings suffer in meek.

What will be the future of the midgets? Perhaps slalom boards will provide an alternative path for them.

Formula are created for "BIG" people.

The phasing out of mistral one design;

and the ushering of the hybrid

marks the beginning of evolution.

sail sizes doubled;

boards broadened.

Even Macdonald's has taken down windsurfing.

Everything has been supersized.

Its the inevitable.

Is it the end?