Sunday, November 20, 2005

Diving under, swimming over, shifting aside...

That's a general feeling of how life has been for the past few weeks. Without bearings but not exactly lost. Spaced out but not exactly gone. Like how you'd swear you'd swiped your arse clean but a suspicious sensation leaves you queasy and an image of a brown patch on your undies floats in your head. Lol...too much details.

The past half year was like a bump-in-bump-out period. Just reminds me of "you put your right hand in and you put your right right out....shake it all around....hookie pookie....turn it all around", yah and thats what's all about, literally. When people mention the term mood swing, do they mean for it to happen over a short period of time like a few days or weeks? If so i strongly beg to differ cos I sincerely believe that mood swings like a pendulum in forgotten time do exist. Perpetual mood swings to be exact.

Which leads to a constant craving for "a high". And whats "a high"? To some it means a bottle of evil, and some prefer a bed of love. To me, i think its anything that either deludes your mind and makes you feel light or stimulates you with jolts of excitment and biscuits of adrenaline rushes. Of cos, this can be viewed as procrastination since you r shoving off issues that are hurling negative vibes at you. But its "a high" after all. "a" suggests that its momentary and furthermore, its singular. That's "a high". Period.

But i guess the ultimate phenomena that is worth discussing is haphazard thoughts and recollections. They exist and its scary (do note that im describing it as if they were ghosts). Prolly its fatigue but its scary nonetheless. If you don't believe, read on cos its education. Chopping down the keyboard with your fingers can be therapeutic, hypnotising even with the help of a screen staring back at you. And soon, all noises fade out. Your mind slows down and plummets into a slurry of flashbacks and nonsensical thoughts. This can last from a few seconds to a few minutes. Senile? *shrugs* Premature maybe.
For those in limbo, listen up.

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